July 2nd, 2005


It was a nice wedding

Got up at 9am today. Just in time to miss the continental breakfast. Fortunately my grandma brought me coffee, oj and a cinnamon bun. And two extraordinarily under-ripe bananas (one of which she made me try to eat, over my objections and lucid explanations of what a ripe banana is -- I have realized that the reason I hated bananas my entire life until I moved out of the house is that my grandma likes them green and my mom likes the black; the goodness of a ripe-yellow banana is totally lost on them).

We went to Historic Downtown Roseburg. After I drove past it twice to try and find something to see. Went into a glass crafting shop and chatted up the people working there. It was this combination showroom and studio. The proprietor said that most of the people in Roseburg these days are refugees from Arizona and California. Everyone in the room working on a project them chimed in with their hometowns. It was all stained glass stuff there, not glass blowing, so there was sort of a limited amount of coolness to watch.

Down the street was a wine shop. I bought my dad some saki from Oregon, and my grandma bought an Oregon wine called Fat Bastard. I was keeping my eyes peeled for a barber shop, but nothing was open. Oops. So I asked about anyplace at all to get a trim. The owner of the wine shop told me about the "wanna-be-mall" and she gave me directions.

Dropped my grandma off at the hotel to get showered and dressed, and I headed for the mall. Uh. The "mall" that is. The hairdresser at the "mall" was closed. The big stores there (each about equal in size): JC Penny, Dollar Tree, Pier 1 Imports and Ross. $60 at Ross bought me five ties, a beard trimmer with nose trimmer pack (I've always needed one of these!) and a fleece travel blanket (to replace the horrible down blanket my mom forced me to take). $4 at the Dollar Tree bought me hair gel, a variety pack of combs, a large hand mirror and a pack of AA batteries.

I made my grandma trim the nasties off the back of my head (which was pretty scary -- her vision isn't tip top these days) and then I combed some watered down gel through to get the friz under control. Turned out very nice. I got into my suit in 10 minutes flat, including shoes and tie. Huzzah!

The wedding started at 2pm. Very nice Catholic church full of people in pretty summery clothes. I wore my suit and a blue tie I bought at Ross. The father was sort of inexperienced about doing weddings, and was a little bit all over the place about the ceremony. This apparently pisses off Catholics. They want their sacraments in the right order, dangnabit! I loved it. Rabbis know what needs to get said, and they say it. Who cares if the order is "right" or not? Like the Big Guy's paying attention to the order you say things in more than the importance and meaning of what you're saying.

A lot of the liturgy about marriage was based around two things: "Woman was created from the life of Man, and returns life back to Man" and "what He has joined together, man shall not break apart." So, that's nice. Put women in their place and make divorce totally unholy. My Jewish ears picked it all apart. I declined to have the body-cracker and blood-juice. But my grandma went and got some, she figured she could use all the help she can get. My grandma cracks me up.

More to follow, I need to post this already!