Aaron (sodabrew) wrote,
Aaron
sodabrew

A note I wrote in Europe

Some observations about Europe:

- the phones don't work.
- lots of people are fat.
- fat people go to beaches.
- often, topless.
- it's ok to talk to hot topless chicks on the beach, even hit on them. just be nonchalant.
- going to Rhodes is like going to Miami Beach, except that there's ruins of ancient civilizations here and there.
- Sun-starved Europeans thinks rocks and water a beach make.
- chubby women wear tight clothes, bikinis, and all sorts of stuff that we just wouldn't.
- the Danube is not blue, no matter what the people tell you or where the Blue Danube was composed.
- the trains are always late. usually by 25-30% of the travel time. especially when the conductor says that they're running on-schedule. except when they really are on schedule.
- Greeks are honest. Macedonians are crazy. Serbians are nice, but Serbia isn't. Budapest is wonderful. Slovakians wear jack boots. Watch your wallet in Czech.
- If you aren't young and fully-abled, Europe doesn't want you out in public.
- Greece has three sets of islands. You cannot get from one set to another without going through Piraeus. And if you think you can, you're probably going to pay a lot for it.
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